The Adventures of the Cutest Dysfunctional Couple
by Lovelylauren10
Summary: TxG Troy Bolton simply can't behave in family health class. Between baby dolls and fake marriages, nothing Gabriella Montez can do will ever tame the immature child within Troy Bolton. But that doesn't mean she won't try.


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Alright...another oneshot? Yep, that's right! I have the flu...so I woke up and wrote this! Now, these are our same familiar characters from 'A Day as The Bolton Family.' It's a spinoff-ish type thing. REVIEW!

"We are SO getting a divorce! I am divorcing you!" Gabriella Montez shouted, hands on her hips and fire in her eyes. His hair was wild and he was sweaty. He was getting tired of her ranting. So he kissed her.

Bad idea.

"No. You aren't kissing me. We are getting a divorce." He scratched his head and tried to think of something cute to say but he came up blank. This was the fifth time this week that she had threatened to divorce him and frankly he was getting tired of it.

"If we get a divorce, are we breaking up too? I mean, I can live with a grade cut but I can't live without you." He shook his head and grinned at his smart comment.

The two had to be married for a class project and she had repetitively told him that she was the only one trying in the relationship. He had told her that this was stupid anyway and that she should just get over it.

She told him that if they didn't do well on this project then she would fail the class. She couldn't just fail a class because then all of the colleges would reject her because she couldn't even pass a class about family.

Troy called her a nerd.

She threatened to divorce him.

"If you keep acting like that then I will dump you." She crossed her arms and looked up at Mrs. Landers whom was currently talking about babies and the challenges that it caused. Gabriella rolled her eyes and glared at her boyfriend.

He was making a paper airplane to throw back and forth with Chad Danforth. As he noticed brown eyes on him, he simply gave her a cheeky smile and a small blush came across his face.

"Now, please send up one member of your family to pick a baby." Gabriella slapped her forehead as she watched her boyfriend or husband, whichever he decided to be at this moment, raise his hand.

"Can Gabriella have a miscarriage or an abortion? I have a really important-yeeouch!" Gabriella punched him hard in the balls and stood up, ignoring his idiotic question. She was slightly offended, and then realized who exactly had asked the question and recognized that she should have been expecting something stupid from him.

As she approached the desk, she was excited. A baby, she'd get to take care of a pretend baby. Maybe it would teach her boyfriend discipline.

Probably not.

She was last in line, therefore getting the child that no one else picked. Her eyes went wide as she realized what was left.

An African American baby. Now, Gabriella honestly wasn't racist. Her best guy-friend was black. It's just that…she and Troy were not black. The baby was also rather chubby. Again, this was wrong. The two were both very skinny.

She knew Troy would have a field day with this baby. She couldn't even look at him as she sat down with the doll.

"Gabriella…did you cheat on me?" Troy muttered, shocked about the look of the baby, "WITH MY BEST FRIEND?" He was making a scene, standing up and moving away from her.

Chad stood up and held up his hands, going along with the act. He ignored his blonde girlfriend trying to pull him back down and giving Gabriella a pity look.

"It was rape, dude. Your wife forced me. I was traumatized," Sharpay tugged on his arm to pull him back down and Gabriella did the same with Troy, "She said she'd kill me if I told." Gabriella had her head in her hands and she was shaking it from side to side.

Ms. Landers had learned, after months of therapy, to ignore the trouble makers. Troy just continued his act and looked down at his girlfriend,

"I know why you've been trying to divorce me! You and Chad have a deal. You are going to leave me and Sharpay and go elope! I knew it!" Sharpay had matched her best friend in being red in the face and not looking anyone in the eyes.

Gabriella finally stood up, fed up with her boyfriend's actions.

"Fine, I'm tired of your crap. We are getting a divorce. I am failing this class," She paused for dramatic effect, making the entire class hold their breath, "AND we are breaking up."

The whole class gasped, including Ms. Landers. Sure, she had dreamed up the day that the two biggest trouble makers would separate, but not in her classroom.

It made it even better for her.

Gabriella stormed out of the room and Troy stood there. Sharpay glared at him and spoke for the first time in the whole class period,

"Don't stand there like a fucking idiot." Troy could move. He had never been dumped…or divorced—at the same time. He wasn't quite sure what to do so, he said the first thing that came to him mind.

"You can't divorce me, because I am divorcing you!" The classroom all shook their head and Troy stood there a few minutes later before he called after her, "El, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that! I love you, don't leave me!"

And he was out the door.

"Well…anyway…" Ms. Landers began to teach again, although she knew that the class wasn't listening.

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Gabriella wasn't sure where to go. She'd never dumped anyone before and tears were rolling down her face. And she was skipping class.

So, she went to a classroom where she knew the teacher had planning period. He was a pretty cool guy so he'd be perfectly ok with her sitting there.

And that man would be Coach Bolton.

"Ms. Montez, I—um…shouldn't you be in class?" Mr. Bolton said, nearly choking on the salad in his mouth. He wasn't good with crying girls, he only had a son and Troy didn't cry. At all.

"No, it's Ms. Landers' class. She doesn't care what I do," Mr. Bolton rolled his eyes. He had heard the many stories of Ms. Landers' class and didn't push it. He was silent for a few seconds before he spoke,

"What's wrong?" He was cut off when his sweating son ran into his office and grabbed the microphone off of his fathers desk.

"ATTENTION EAST HIGH! GABRIELLA MONTEZ IS…" he looked down to see her and went red in the face, "NOT MISSING! GO WILDCATS. GO TO THE GAME TONIGHT! THE BASKETBALL CAPTAIN IS HOT!" He was shocked when another punch hit him down low and his father quickly grabbed the mike.

"Shit El, I need those," his father glared at him and he mumbled, "for later in life. Because abstinence is the answer for teenagers. I mean girls are gross. Gabriella is disgusting…" He felt another punch in the crotch and nearly started crying.

"What do you mean?" Gabriella demanded, eyes dark brown. He couldn't say the right things today, could he, "So that's how you really feel." Troy frowned,

"No, you aren't disgusting. I just said that because I…fine. Let's go have sex right now." His father's eyes went wide and he changed his mind, "Just kidding because you are ugly. I mean if we have sex you could get pregnant and our babies would be hideous." She frowned,

"Excuse me?" He groaned and grabbed her hand,

"Fine. Come with me because we are going to get you knocked up because we will have the most amazing babies ever and they will be beautiful." Mr. Bolton glared at his son,

"Troy, if I were you…I'd leave this room right now." Troy shook his head and walked out the door. Then one second later he walked back in,

"El! Oh my gosh, I've been looking for you everywhere. I'm really sorry I told you that you cheated on me with Chad. Clearly, that baby didn't look anything like him. The baby had my…attitude?" Mr. Bolton didn't want to ask, fearing the answer. Gabriella sighed,

"Fine, I guess we don't have to divorce each other. And I am un-breaking up with you. I love you." Troy quickly agreed, fearing pissing her off again. Mr. Bolton looked back at his salad awkwardly as the teenagers made up. Finally he spoke,

"Get off each other; I'm trying to eat here." Gabriella heard crying and followed it quickly. Her eyes went wide and opened the door,

"TROY! YOU LOCKED OUR BABY IN YOUR SMELLY BASKETBALL LOCKER!?!" He shrugged his shoulders in a cute way and glanced at her,

"…no?" Gabriella shook her head,

"I am divorcing you. Do you want me to fail?"

"Nerd."

And the cycle started again.


End file.
